Woody Allen the love guru

The heart raged, grew melancholy and confused and toward what end? To articulate what nitwit strategy? Procreation? It told him something. How millions of sperm competed for a single egg, not the other way around. Men would make love with any number of women even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: “Let us out, let us out!” It was like personal ads. Dozens of requirements followed by, “Non-smokers only. ”

Feldman longed to meet an attractive woman with this personality: A sense of humour equal to his, a love of music equal to his and a love of Bach and balmy climates. In short, himself as a pretty woman. Pepkin married and led a warm, domestic life. Placid, but dull. Knapp was a swinger. He eschewed nuptial ties and bedded different women. Nurses, housewives, students, a doctor, a salesgirl They all held Knapp between their legs. Pepkin, from the calm of his fidelity, envied Knapp. Knapp, lonely beyond belief, envied Pepkin. What happened after the honeymoon? Did desire grow or did familiarity make partners want other lovers? Was the notion of ever-deepening romance a myth along with simultaneous orgasm? The only time Rifkin and his wife experienced one was when they were granted their divorce. Maybe in the end, the idea was not to expect too much out of life.

-Husbands and Wives (1992)


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